Arrr! Rubio be huntin’ for answers, as two more landlubber Americans be snatched by the scallywag Taliban!
2025-01-25
Arrr, matey! Two landlubber Americans be stuck in the clutches of the Taliban, all 'cause of a cheeky two-for-one deal the Biden crew cooked up 'fore they set sail from the White House! Blimey, what a trade—hope they packed their sea legs!
Arrr, me hearties! In the last hours of his rule, President Joe Biden struck a deal with the scallywags of the Taliban, liberatin' two fine American lads, Ryan Corbett and William Wallace McKenty, from their clutches. Yet, alas, two other poor souls, George Glezmann and Mahmood Habibi, be left in the brig!On a Saturday, Secretary of State Marco Rubio be shoutin' from the crow's nest that he heard whispers of more Americans bein' detained by the Taliban. "By me beard! We best place a hefty bounty on their heads, bigger than the one on old Bin Laden!" he declared, as if he were a true buccaneer.
Poor George has been languishin' in a dark pit since December, and his matey Dennis Fitzpatrick claims he be naught a priority for the Biden crew. "A hard-workin' airline mechanic can’t be used as a pawn!" he wailed, as George's health be sinkin' faster than a ship in a storm.
As for Mahmood, his brother be certain the Taliban be playin' tricks, claimin' they don't have him while witnesses tell a different tale. "Aye, the U.S. government knows he be locked up! But the White House be blockin' efforts to save him!" he lamented.
So, there ye have it, mateys! A tale of diplomacy, deceit, and the quest to save our fellow Americans from the dark depths of Taliban waters. Yarrr!