The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arr, the Navy hath stopped missiles sailin' north from Yemen, possibly towards Israel, says the Pentagon!

2023-10-19

Avast ye scallywags! The swashbucklers of the USS Carney have sent three land attack cruise missiles and a pack of drones to Davy Jones' locker! Word from Brig. Gen. Pat Ryder, a fine mate from the U.S. Department of Defense, be that these were launched by them pesky Houthi scoundrels in Yemen, who be backed by them sneaky Iranians. This be proof of our grand air and missile defense system in the Middle East, ready to protect at all times!

In a bold and daring display of naval prowess, the crew of the mighty USS Carney, a fearsome guided missile destroyer, has struck a blow against the conniving Iranian-backed Houthi militants in Yemen. With sails billowing in the wind, the Carney stood strong as it repelled not one, not two, but three land attack cruise missiles and a whole gaggle of pesky drones.

Brig. Gen. Pat Ryder, a voice of reason amidst this seafaring chaos, confirmed that this display of fireworks was indeed a deliberate action taken by the crew. He proudly proclaimed that their actions showcased the impenetrable air and missile defense structure that the United States has meticulously constructed in the Middle East.

These audacious Houthi militants thought they could simply launch their missiles and drones into the heavens, causing havoc and mayhem wherever they pleased. But little did they know, the crew of the Carney was ready and waiting. With cannons blazing and weapons locked and loaded, they swiftly turned the tables on their adversaries.

The Carney, with its state-of-the-art weaponry and a crew brimming with bravado, sent those missiles and drones hurtling down into the sea with a resounding splash. The militants surely watched in disbelief as their nefarious plans were thwarted by these swashbuckling defenders of justice.

General Ryder, in his infinite wisdom, reassured the world that this was merely a taste of what the United States is capable of. He boldly proclaimed that they stand prepared to unleash their fearsome defenses whenever necessary, to protect the peace-loving nations of the Middle East.

So, let this be a warning to all those who dare to challenge the might of the USS Carney and the valiant crew who sail her. Mess with them, and you'll find yourself walking the plank, with your missiles and drones scattered at the bottom of the ocean, where they truly belong.

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