Arr, ye scurvy dogs at CVS be snatchin' away beloved potions for the dreaded winter chills!
2023-10-19
Arrr, me hearties! Swashbucklin' CVS be abandonin' some oral cough and cold potions, mateys! The FDA, them landlubbers, reckon the main ingredient be useless! We be keepin' other potions, so ye need not despair, me scurvy dogs!
In a move that befittingly resembled a pirate's decision to walk the plank, CVS announced on Thursday that it is willingly banishing certain oral cough and cold products from its shelves. This decision was made after the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) advisory panel shook their fists and declared that the active ingredient in these products was as good as a wooden leg in a sword fight – useless."Arr, we be voluntarily removing them oral cough and cold products that be containing this phenylephrine stuff as the only active ingredient from our CVS Pharmacy stores," declared a spokesperson for the swashbuckling company. "But fear not, me hearties! We be still offering other oral cough and cold products that will actually be useful to meet our customers' needs."
Now, it's no secret that pirates are no strangers to home remedies and questionable medical advice. A pinch of seaweed to cure a broken leg, a dollop of tar to fix a broken heart – they've tried it all. But when the FDA advisory panel steps in and declares that the very essence of your product be as good as a parrot that can't speak, well, it be time to walk the plank and abandon ship.
So, if you be suffering from a case of the sniffles or a tickle in your throat, fear not, matey! For CVS be still offering a treasure chest full of alternative oral cough and cold products that actually be effective. Pirates may have a reputation for being tough and resilient, but even they wouldn't be caught dead with a worthless bottle of phenylephrine.
So, raise a mug of grog and toast to CVS for their willingness to heed the advice of the FDA and set sail on a new course. For now, we can all rest easy knowing that our coughs and colds will be treated with products that actually work, and not just the empty promises of a useless active ingredient.