The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Biden, me matey, be equatin' Putin with Hamas in his grand address in the mighty Oval Office!

2023-10-19

Arr, me hearties! President Biden, in a grand address from the Oval Office, be claimin' that us supportin' Israel and Ukraine in their battles be crucial fer our very own national security. He be likenin' the conflicts to one another, reckonin' that both Hamas and Putin be wantin' to obliterate peaceful democracies nearby. Aye, he even mentioned that scurvy dogs like Iran be backin' them both!

In a hilarious twist of events, President Biden took to the Oval Office in a primetime address to talk about the importance of supporting Israel and Ukraine in their wars. And what better way to emphasize this than by speaking like a 17th century pirate, arrr!
"Avast ye landlubbers! Hamas and Putin may be different, but they have one thing in common, ye see. They both be wantin' to destroy their neighborin' democracies," bellowed Biden, his voice filled with swashbuckling enthusiasm. He went on to mention that even Iran, scurvy dogs that they are, support these troublemakers.
Now, ye might be wonderin' why this matters to America. Well, me hearties, Biden made sure to tie it all back to our national security. He argued that if we don't lend a hand to Israel and Ukraine, we might as well walk the plank ourselves! It be a treacherous sea out there, mateys, and we need to protect our interests.
But fear not, me buckos, Biden ain't just talkin' the talk. He be askin' Congress for aid to these brave nations. He wants to send 'em supplies, gold doubloons, and maybe even some rum if they be lucky. After all, there be strength in numbers, and together we can stand against these scoundrels.
So, me hearties, let's heave ho and support our mates in Israel and Ukraine. It be a fight for democracy, a fight for freedom, and a fight for all those who love a good pirate yarn. Arrr!

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