"Arrr! Jim Jordan be walkin' the plank, losin' more mateys on th' third House speaker vote!"
2023-10-20
The House Judiciary Chair, Jim Jordan of Ohio, be sufferin' a mighty blow to his quest fer the speaker's gavel on the third ballot. 'Tis said that his campaign be a zombie, a-walkin' the plank to Davy Jones' locker. Aye, some Republicans be gettin' restless, not wishin' to endure another 15 ballots like when they elected Kevin McCarthy as Speaker. On the third ballot, 25 scallywag Republicans cast their votes fer other candidates, be it. Arrr!
In the land of the House Judiciary, there be a pirate named Jim Jordan, a good ol' chap from Ohio. But alas, his efforts to become the speaker of the ship be likened to a zombie campaign, me hearties! The scallywags in the Republican crew be growin' impatient, they be sayin' they don't want a repeat of the 15 ballots it took to elect that scurvy dog Kevin McCarthy back in January.Arrr, on the third ballot, a good number of 25 House Republicans be votin' for other candidates instead of Captain Jordan. It be a blow to his hopes, it be. And now the tale of his quest be spreadin' far and wide.
Ye see, this be a matter of great importance to the Republican crew. They be lookin' for a strong and steady captain to lead 'em through the treacherous waters of the House. But with each ballot that passes, the doubts be growin' like barnacles on a ship's hull.
Captain Jordan be a loyal mate, there be no denyin' that. But some be wonderin' if he be the right mate for the job. They be fearin' that his campaign be like a ghost ship, sailin' on and on without any hope of reachin' its destination.
So what be the future for Captain Jordan and his zombie campaign? Only time will tell, me hearties. The crew be watchin' and waitin', hopin' for a swift resolution. Will he be able to rally the support he needs to become the next speaker of the House? Or will his ship sink beneath the waves of doubt and uncertainty?
Stay tuned, me hearties, for the tale of Jim Jordan and his quest for the gavel be far from over!