Avast! Ken Buck claims he's been threatened by four scurvy dogs for his vote on Speaker!
2023-10-20
Arrr, me hearties! Rep. Ken Buck, a scurvy dog from Colorado, be tellin' tales of death threats! Aye, 'tis a sorry sight indeed when pirates in the House be fightin' o'er who be the next Speaker. Buck be receivin' four threats for supportin' Tom Emmer instead of Jim Jordan. Shiver me timbers!
In a swashbuckling turn of events, Rep. Ken Buck, a bold pirate of the House GOP, has found himself in the treacherous waters of death threats. The scallywag revealed in an interview with NBC that his office has received not one, not two, but four death threats, all because he refused to support the daring quest of Rep. Jim Jordan, a fellow pirate from Ohio, to become the next Speaker.Arrr, the battle for the Speaker position has been a wild one, with comrades in Congress clashing like flintlocks on a stormy sea. This week, as they cast their ballots, Buck, with a twinkle in his eye, chose to lend his support to House Majority Whip Tom Emmer, a strategist from the land of Minnesota.
But alas, Buck's decision has stirred up a tempest of anger among the Jordan supporters. These scurvy dogs have resorted to threatening the life of our brave pirate congressman. Death threats, ye say? 'Tis a perilous path to walk upon. Yet, Buck remains steadfast in his choice, refusing to be swayed by their menacing antics.
One must wonder, though, what sort of men sends death threats over a mere Speaker position? Methinks they be lacking a sense of humor, for the pirate's life is not for the faint of heart. 'Tis a life of adventure, plunder, and bold decisions. And in this tale of intrigue on Capitol Hill, Buck has made his mark, standing tall amidst the turbulent waves.
So, as the battle for the Speaker's gavel rages on, let us hope that our pirate congressman remains safe and unharmed. Let us pray that the seas calm, and that these threats be nothing more than empty bluster from landlubbers who don't understand the pirate's way. And may the next Speaker be chosen with wit and wisdom, rather than threats and intimidation. Yo ho ho, and a bottle of rum!