The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! New Jersey be keepin' wee ones' DNA fer 23 years! Scallywag parents be suin' the landlubbers!

2023-11-08

Arrr, me hearties! 'Tis a tale of the landlubbers in the New World. Each US state, scallywags be takin' small drops o' blood from wee ones to check 'em for diseases. But hark! New Jersey, bein' the land of hoardin' scalawags, stores these crimson treasures fer ages. And rumor be, they might just be sharin' 'em with the constables for their investigations! Savvy, mateys?

In the good old days of the 17th century, when pirates roamed the high seas with their swashbuckling adventures and witty lingo, little did they know that the lands of America would one day be pricking the blood of their newborns! Arrr, me hearties! It be true, ye scallywags!
These United States, land of opportunity and genetic testing, be takin' tiny droplets of blood from wee babes to check 'em for diseases and such. Aye, it may seem like a noble cause, but 'tis what they be doin' with those precious drops that be raisin' eyebrows and makin' folks scratch their heads in disbelief!
Now, ye see, the fine state of New Jersey be keepin' those blood samples tucked away fer decades. They be collectin' them like treasure, ye know! And here be the kicker, me mateys, they be thinkin' about lettin' the law dogs use 'em for their investigations. Aye, ye heard it right, me buckos!
Imagine, if ye will, a band of pirates sailin' the seas in search of booty, only to be captured by New Jersey's finest. And lo and behold, they got a hold of the blood ye left behind as a wee bairn. 'Tis a strange world we be livin' in, indeed!
But fear not, me hearties, for it be a debate that be ragin' on like a fierce storm at sea. Some be sayin' it be an invasion of privacy, while others be arguin' it be a great crime-fightin' tool. Aye, 'tis a fine line between preservin' justice and trampling on the rights of the people.
So, as ye venture forth into this modern age, keep an eye on yer blood, me pirate friends. For ye never know when those tiny droplets may be used to bring ye to justice or even worse, be wielded against ye in a court of law. 'Tis a strange world indeed, filled with pinpricks, blood, and the long arm of the law!

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