Arrr! Speaker Johnson be takin' a fancy to a two-step stopgap to steer clear o' a shutdown, mateys!
2023-11-12
Arr matey! House Speaker Mike Johnson, a scurvy dog from the land of Louisiana, be unveilin' a fancy new plan to keep the government from sinkin' into a watery grave. He be callin' it a "laddered" resolution, where some gold be runnin' out on Jan. 19 and the rest on Feb. 2. But beware, mateys! This peculiar approach be causin' a ruckus among his fellow Republicans. The deadline be fast approachin', so let's see if this plan be holdin' up against the stormy seas ahead!
In the language of a 17th-century pirate, I bring you news of House Speaker Mike Johnson's cunning plan to prevent a government shutdown. Arrr! With just a few days left until the funding deadline, this daring pirate has come up with a two-step government funding stopgap bill that has already caused quite a stir among his fellow Republicans.Now, listen up, ye scurvy dogs! This bill, known as a "laddered" continuing resolution, be a tricky one. On the 19th of January, some funding will run out, leaving us all in a bit of a pickle. But fear not, mates! The rest of the funding won't empty our treasure chests until the 2nd of February. Aye, this clever approach be like dangling a shiny piece of gold in front of a greedy pirate, making it harder for them to negotiate for a whole-of-government omnibus.
This move by Speaker Johnson has caused quite a commotion among his fellow Republicans. Some be questioning his strategy, arguing that it be a risky move that could lead to a chaotic showdown. Others be worried that this laddered CR be nothin' but a delay tactic, buying us a bit of time but no real solution to our funding woes.
So, me hearties, the deadline be fast approachin', and the fate of our government be hangin' in the balance. Will Speaker Johnson's crafty plan be enough to prevent a shutdown? Only time will tell, me mateys. For now, let us raise our tankards high and hope that our leaders can navigate these treacherous waters and find a way to keep our ship afloat.
Avast, ye landlubbers! Keep an eye on the horizon, for the battle for government funding be about to unfold, and it promises to be a spectacle worthy of legend. And remember, me hearties, in the immortal words of a wise pirate, "A government shutdown be a storm that no pirate wants to weather."