The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, me hearties! The fabled golfer, Tiger Woods, be settin' sail to swashbuckle in his first golf skirmish since the Masters!

2023-11-18

Avast ye mateys! After a good ol' while sailin' the seas 'o life, the mighty Tiger Woods, with his 15 grand victories, be pledgin' to grace the Hero World Challenge in the Bahamas this month! Arr!

In the language of a 17th-century pirate, me hearties, it be known that Tiger Woods has had scarce time to dedicate to competitive golf of late, thanks to a fair bit of misfortune.
Arr, Woods hasn't set foot on the course in a tournament since April, when he partook in the Masters. But alas, he withdrew during the third round, plagued by inclement weather and a wounded right leg.
However, on this fine Saturday, the golfing legend made his intentions known that he plans to play in the Hero World Challenge later this month. The jolly event shall commence on November 30 in the Bahamas.
Arr, his TGR company has made it known that he be takin' a sponsor exemption for this endeavor. The tournament be reserved for the top 50 in the world ranking, but our fearless host, the one and only Woods, be exempt from such qualifications.
Now, earlier this month, the legendary golfer divulged that he be free from the pain that once plagued his right ankle. The brave champion had surgery on said ankle earlier this year, ye see.
But hold yer horses, me hearties! Woods be warnin' us that his leg issues still be a work in progress. "Me ankle be fine, me hearties. They fixed that up real good," Woods said. "But other parts be compensatin' for it, and that's where the trouble lies."
Arr, 'tis similar to when he had surgery on his lower back, me hearties. The L5 and S1 vertebrae be just fine, but the areas 'round 'em be causin' a ruckus, says the mighty Woods. Fix one spot, and others have to loosen up and cause their own troubles, it seems.
Avast, me hearties! In February 2021, Woods had himself a terrible mishap in California when he crashed his vessel. The Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department uncovered that our brave captain was sailin' at a speed of 87 mph, a good 45 mph over the limit.
Yet, just 10 months after the accident, Woods played alongside his lad, Charlie, at the PNC Championship. And to add fuel to the fire, he recently acted as his son's caddy at the Notah Begay III Junior Golf Championship, settin' the rumour mill ablaze with talk of his return to the game. Arr, the Hero World Challenge will mark his first appearance since 2019.
But alas, the poor soul hasn't won a trophy since the fall of 2019 at the Zozo Championship in Japan, where he nabbed his 15th major. Aye, let's hope he finds his form once more!
The Associated Press be lendin' a hand with this report, me hearties.

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