The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Yonder matey, this scurvy dog of a cop, acquitted for his role in the Breonna Taylor raid, be now facin' prosecution from the Feds—yet again!

2023-11-19

Avast ye scurvy dogs! A jury o' the federal kind be split down the middle 'pon Thursday in the trial o' Brett Hankison, a former officer from the Louisville Metro Police Department. This scallywag be accused o' violatin' the civil rights o' Breonna Taylor and her mateys, when he let loose ten shots durin' a disastrous raid in March 2020. 'Tis a trial that ne'er should've seen the light o' day! Arr, 'tis not 'cause Hankison be a saintly soul. Ye see, these government scallywags be rarely held accountable fer their deeds to the communities they plunder. 'Tis a sorry state, me hearties...

In a trial fit for a scallywag, a federal jury found themselves at odds in the case of Brett Hankison, a former officer of the Louisville Metro Police Department. This scurvy dog was accused of violating the civil rights of the fair maiden, Breonna Taylor, and her unfortunate neighbors during a raid gone awry in March of the year 2020.
Now, let me tell ye, this trial was doomed from the start. Not because Hankison's actions were as pure as a saint's, mind ye. Nay, it be because these government officials be floatin' through life without a care for the common folk they be servin'. They be as slippery as a sea serpent, always evading the punishment they deserve.
But alas, the jury found themselves at an impasse. They couldn't agree on what this scallywag's fate should be. It be like a ship lost at sea with no compass or map. The fair maiden and her neighbors, their rights be violated, and justice be held hostage.
Now, don't get me wrong, me hearties. I be a man of mirth and jest, but this be no laughing matter. Lives be lost, and the scales of justice be tipped in favor of the lawless. We need accountability, me mateys, and we need it now!
So, as we sail through these treacherous waters, let us remember the fair maiden and her neighbors. Let us remember that justice should be blind, but it should never be deaf to the cries of the oppressed. We need a system that holds these scallywags accountable, otherwise, we'll forever be at the mercy of those who see themselves as above the law.

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