The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast ye scallywags! McCarthy's walkin' the plank, spellin' trouble fer the House GOP's meager numbers. Arrr!

2023-12-07

Arr, me hearties! The stepping down of cap'n Kevin McCarthy of the GOP, together with other resignations and the booting of George Santos, be bringin' to light the dreadful math troubles facin' the meager House GOP majority. In the months ahead, there be a chance that their majority be shrinkin' so much that they can only bear to lose a couple o' votes on any party-line matter, if the timing be right...

In the language of a 17th century pirate, me hearties, we be havin' ourselves a bit of a conundrum with the House GOP majority. The resignation of former Speaker Kevin McCarthy, a fine pirate in his own right, be makin' things tricky for our fellow Republicans. Along with the expulsion of former Rep. George Santos, we be lookin' at a crew that be shrinkin' faster than a ghost ship in a storm.
Arrr, me mateys, if things be goin' sour, it be within the realm of possibility that our majority be shrinkin' so much that we can afford to lose just two votes on any party-line measure. Aye, ye heard me right! Two votes be all we can spare, and that be dependin' on the timing of it all. It be like tryin' to navigate through treacherous waters with nary a compass to guide us.
But fear not, me hearties, for this be a tale of humor and witticisms. We be laughin' in the face of danger, for what be a pirate's life without a bit of fun? We be raisin' our tankards of rum and toastin' to our fellow Republicans, hopin' they be stayin' strong and loyal like a true matey.
So, me lads and lasses, let us not be disheartened by these math problems facin' our crew. We be pirates, after all, and we be known for our resourcefulness and cleverness. We be findin' a way to navigate these treacherous waters and come out victorious in the end.
Until then, me hearties, let us keep our spirits high and our swords sharp. We be fightin' for the principles we hold dear, just like the brave pirates of old. Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! Onward, me fellow Republicans, to the battle ahead!

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