The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast ye scurvy dogs! Christian Ponder, a former star o' Florida State, be mighty peeved 'bout the Seminoles' CFP snub. Outrageous, says he!

2023-12-09

Avast ye! The scallywag, Christian Ponder, a once-mighty buccaneer of Florida State, be vexed about the rigmarole what saw his Seminoles a-walkin' the plank from the College Football Playoff. Aye, he be none too pleased with the scurvy process, says he!

In the language of a 17th-century pirate, Christian Ponder was "sailing the seas" of Central Park when he discovered that his beloved Florida State Seminoles had been denied a spot in the College Football Playoff. Ponder, disappointed by the news, was particularly irked by how the selection process unfolded, claiming that it went against years of precedent.

"The result be an outrage!" Ponder exclaimed in his pirate-like dialect. He couldn't fathom how Texas, a one-loss team, managed to leapfrog Florida State in the rankings. Ponder questioned the criteria used by the committee and believed that assumptions made about the team's performance without Jordan Travis were completely absurd. He pointed to past examples of backup quarterbacks leading their teams to national championships as evidence that assumptions about potential performance were unjust.

Ponder also expressed his belief that there was a bias towards the SEC conference and criticized the strength of the SEC and Big 12 conferences this year. He defended Florida State's undefeated record and highlighted their impressive out-of-conference victories against LSU and Florida.

Despite the disappointment, Ponder remained hopeful, mentioning that Florida State would still play in the Orange Bowl against Georgia. He also shared the matchups for the College Football Playoff, with Michigan facing Alabama in the Rose Bowl and Washington taking on Texas in the Sugar Bowl.

In the end, Ponder's humorous and passionate pirate-like language conveyed his discontent with the College Football Playoff selection process and his belief that Florida State deserved a spot in the national championship. Arrr!

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