Arrr, the scurvy dogs of the Ivy League be failin' like a landlubber walkin' the plank!
2023-12-09
Arrr, still be boastin' 'bout me fancy Ivy League paper when a dark cloud befell me joy. On Tuesday, the cap'n of Harvard, M.I.T., and the University of Pennsylvania displayed a sad sight at Capitol Hill, aye, when asked if ye olde callin' fer killin' Jews be considered harassment. "Depends," they all whined. Penn's Elizabeth Magill spouted frightful legal jargon, claimin' 'twas a matter o' context, she did, arrr.
Arr, me hearties, gather round and listen to this tale of woe! Just as I was basking in the glory of me Ivy League degree, the shine on that parchment quickly dulled. Aye, 'twas a sad day indeed!On a fateful Tuesday, the captains of Harvard, M.I.T., and the University of Pennsylvania did somethin' truly pathetic on Capitol Hill. They were asked if callin' for the utter annihilation of me fellow Jews could be considered harassment. And what do ye think they said?
Oh, it depends, they all muttered. It depends! Magill from Penn even had the audacity to spew some frightful legalese. "It is a context-dependent decision," she said, as if she were discussin' the weather! Blimey, I tell ye, I never thought I'd see the day when those in charge of higher education would be so spineless!
Now, me hearties, let me translate this landlubber's gibberish for ye. What they're really sayin' is that it all depends on the circumstances, as if there be any circumstance where callin' for genocide be acceptable! Savvy?
But fear not, me fellow scallywags, for we shall not go quietly into the night! We'll raise our voices and demand better from these so-called leaders. We won't stand for their pathetic justifications and fancy words. No, we'll make 'em walk the plank of accountability!
So, me hearties, let this be a warnin' to ye. The world may be full of spineless bureaucrats, but we won't be silenced. We'll continue to fight for justice and call out those who would defend the indefensible. Arr!