Avast ye scurvy dogs! UPenn's President Liz Magill and Board of Trustees chair Scott Bok walk the plank, as a bunch o' rich mateys be mad over that terrible Jew-hatin' talk!
2023-12-10
Avast ye scallywags! The University of Pennsylvania's very own Cap'n Liz Magill, after a blunderous blabberin' 'fore Congress about their lackluster protection of our Jewish mates, has decided to walk the plank, or rather, resign from her position. Even Cap'n Scott L. Bok, chairman of the board, be joinin' her in this Ivy League shakeup, announced on a fine Saturday.
In a surprising turn of events, University of Pennsylvania President Liz Magill and chairman of the board of trustees, Scott L. Bok, have “voluntarily” walked the plank and resigned from their positions in a massive shakeup at the prestigious Ivy League institution. The announcement comes after Magill’s disastrous testimony before Congress, where she faced criticism for the school’s alleged failure to protect Jewish students.Arr, me hearties, it seems that the pressure be gettin’ to our good ol’ Captain Magill. T’was a rough week for her, especially after that congressional hearing went down like a sinking ship. The donors be demandin’ answers, and even the White House be eyein’ her like a hungry shark. So, what’s a captain to do in such dire straits? Jump ship, of course!
But it ain’t just the captain who’s abandonin’ the ship. Scott L. Bok, the chairman of the board of trustees, be followin’ suit and walkin’ the plank alongside Magill. Looks like the whole crew be takin’ a nice long swim, tryin’ to escape the storm brewin’ around Penn.
The university be puttin’ out a statement, claimin’ that Magill’s resignation be a voluntary act. But we all know how these things be goin’. When the sharks be circlin’ and the cannons be aimed, ye don’t have much choice but to abandon ship before ye be goin’ down with it.
So, me hearties, it be a wild ride at the University of Pennsylvania. The captain be gone, the chairman be gone, and who knows what be next for this prestigious institution. Will they find a new captain to steer the ship? Or will they be left adrift in these treacherous waters? Only time will tell, me hearties, only time will tell.