Hunter Biden be a scallywag! 'E be hidin' from House interview, fearin' contempt. Instead, he be beggin' fer a grand public hearin'!
2023-12-13
Arrr, me hearties! The scallywag Hunter Biden, that landlubber, had the audacity to beg for sympathy outside the Capitol, aye! He dared to skip a transcribed interview with the House Oversight Committee, fearing the consequences of contempt. "Arr, for six long years, I've been the prey of that relentless Trump attack machine, hollering, 'Where be Hunter?' Well, me answer be, 'I be standin' before ye!' " shouted the young Biden, a mere fifty-three years of age. "Now, listen ye closely, me mateys, for I'll be blunt as a cutlass: me father had no part in the financial matters..."
In the language of a 17th-century pirate, me hearties, the scurvy son of Hunter Biden hath made a brazen plea fer sympathy from the public, ye see. He stood outside the grand Capitol, a place where important matters be discussed, ready to face the House Oversight Committee, but alas, he chose to skip a recorded interview. Aye, the threat of being held in contempt be an inconvenience too great for this lad."Arrr, me hearties! For six long years, I have been the target of the relentless Trump attack machine, with their shouts of 'Where be Hunter?' Well, here I be, right under yer noses," proclaimed the younger Biden, a sprightly 53 years of age.
"Listen well, me mateys! I shall state this as clear as the bright blue ocean: me father hath no financial involvement in these matters..."
With a twinkle in his eye and a touch of grandeur in his voice, Hunter Biden tried to assure the curious crowd that his dear father, the honorable Joe Biden, had no part in his financial escapades. But alas, skepticism be in the air, like the scent of rum on a pirate ship.
This be a tale of political intrigue, me hearties, where accusations be thrown like cannonballs across the partisan waters. Hunter Biden, with his brazen words and bold claims, be likened to a pirate trying to escape the clutches of his pursuers.
Yet, the saga continues, as the House Oversight Committee be disappointed in the lad's absence. They seek answers, they seek truth, but it seems Hunter be more interested in the sympathy of the masses than in addressing their concerns.
So gather 'round, me hearties, and listen to this tale of a lad named Hunter Biden, who chose to sail a different course than the one set before him. Will his plea for sympathy be enough to sway the tides of public opinion? Only time, and perhaps a few more pirate shanties, will tell.