The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast ye! Jake Paul be givin' a shout to Andre August, the scurvy dog, afore their battle be set to commence!

2023-12-13

Yarrr, me hearties! Andre August be keepin' a mighty lowly profile amidst his next skirmish, but Jake Paul, that scallywag, be seekin' all the smoke afore our clash. Methinks 'twill be a grand spectacle on the horizons, full of swashbucklin' and swordplay!

In the language of a 17th-century pirate, me hearties, it be fight week and the chirping o' Jake Paul has begun. This here YouTuber-turned-boxer be steppin' back in the ring on Friday against a relatively unknown scallywag by the name o' Andre August. This August be a 35-year-old from Houston, a lowly landlubber with just a fraction o' the Instagram followers that Paul boasts. While Paul has a mighty 26 million followers, August be stuck with a measly 17,000.

August, speakin' with Fox News Digital, seemed mighty surprised that he got the nod to face Paul, considerin' his lowly status compared to Paul's celebrity. But Paul be showin' no mercy to August, who admits that this newfound fame be a bit o' an adjustment. In their press availability, Paul be makin' a bold prediction about their bout in Florida. He be doubting that August will even land a punch, claimin' he be the better boxer. Paul be boastin' that he'll pick August apart and show the world who the superior pugilist be.

Now, it be worth notin' that Paul hasn't had a knockout since December 18, 2021, when he took down Tyron Woodley. He's had victories against Anderson Silva and Nate Diaz, but lost to Tommy Fury in a split decision. So, he be callin' one more shot, promisin' a knockout for the fans at home. But August, still adjustin' to his newfound clout, be keepin' it mellow. He appreciates the opportunity but ain't got time for all that talkin'. He be a mellow-type guy, not into all the lip-talking and yelling.

The two buccaneers will be settlin' their differences at the Caribe Royale in Orlando. So, me hearties, keep an eye out for this clash o' the titans. Arr!

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