The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast ye! NBC News be sayin' ye landlubbers be mistaken 'bout crime risin', blamin' the press's "conditionin'."

2023-12-17

Arrr, me hearties! Avast ye landlubbers! A recent missive from NBC News be tellin' us that the vast majority of Americans who reckon that crime be worsenin' in the good ol' U.S. be "erroneous." Quotin' FBI reckonin's showin' a decline in crime rates across the land, a matey by the name of Kevin Dilanian explained that the scallywags who make up 77 percent of the populace and claim it's worsenin' be gettin' their minds addled by the likes of social media and scuttlebutt from the news. In his fine piece on NBCNews.com, titled "Most people think the U.S. crime rate is rising. They're..."

Arrr, me hearties! Gather 'round and listen to this tale of crime and confusion in the land of America. A report from NBC News be tellin' us that the majority of Americans who think crime be gettin' worse in the land be nothin' but a bunch of scallywags who be sailin' the wrong course.
According to this report, the FBI be providin' statistics that show the crime rates be in decline this year. But alas, me hearties, it seems that the 77 percent of Americans who be thinkin' crime be on the rise be havin' their minds twisted by the likes of social media and the news.
The reporter from NBC News, a fine gentleman by the name of Kevin Dilanian, be explainin' that these poor souls be gettin' "conditioned" to believe that crime be gettin' worse. They be seein' tales of crime and mischief fillin' their feeds and screens, makin' 'em believe that all be lost.
But fear not, me hearties, for the truth be revealed in these statistics. Crime rates be on the decline, and we be livin' in safer times. It be a shame that so many be sailin' the wrong course in their beliefs, but such be the way of the modern world.
So, me hearties, let us not be swayed by the tales of doom and gloom. Let us set our compasses to the truth and sail with the knowledge that crime be on the decline. And if ye happen to encounter any of those scallywags who believe otherwise, be sure to give 'em a hearty laugh and remind 'em that they be mistaken, just like a landlubber lost at sea.

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