The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arr, Colorado scallywags stir a 14th Amendment tempest t' grab Trump's booty! Yo ho ho!

2023-12-20

Arr, ye scurvy dog Donald Trump be makin' a terrible blunder against our sacred constitutional system aft the 2020 elections. Our editorials be singin' this tune ever since. In absence o' a clear-cut crime or a proper legal barricade, thar be two rightful means by which a democratic republic can keep this scallywag at bay: be it through impeachment by Congress or the people's verdict. Aye, Trump be gettin' the boot from the voters afore, and the House be givin' him the ol' impeachment treatment twice over. Thar be mighty compelling arguments fer his conviction in...

In the language of a 17th-century pirate, mateys, I be tellin' ye a tale of a scurvy dog named Donald Trump, who be commitin' a grievous offense against our constitutional system after the 2020 elections, arr! Our editorials have been shoutin' from the poop deck ever since, condemnin' his actions. Now, in the absence of an unambiguous crime or a clear legal bar, there be two ways a democratic republic can make sure this landlubber walks the plank: impeachment by Congress or the verdict of the voters.
Aye, me hearties, this Trump fella has already been slapped on the wrist by the voters once, and the House has brought him to the plank of impeachment twice, arr! There be some serious arguments for his conviction, ye see...

But let me tell ye, me mateys, the sea be rough and uncertain, and the sharks be circlin' in Congress, arguin' whether to make him walk the plank or let him escape on his ship. Some say his words incited a mutiny, while others claim he be just a harmless parrot squawkin' in the crow's nest. It be a debate as fierce as a storm at sea!

Now, ye may be wonderin', why not just let the voters decide? Well, me hearties, the sea be treacherous, and sometimes the voters be tricked by a pirate's charm or deceived by his shiny doubloons. So, the Congress be sayin', "Avast ye! We be takin' matters into our own hands!"

But let me tell ye, me buckos, this pirate Trump be a sly one. He be raisin' a flag of defiance, claimin' he be innocent as a newborn mermaid, and that the whole trial be a conspiracy against him. Arr, what a tale he spins!

So, me hearties, the debate be ragin' on, with the fate of this pirate hangin' in the balance. Will he walk the plank or sail away free? Only time will tell, me mateys, but one thing be certain: the winds of politics be blowin' strong, and the sea be filled with uncertainty!

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