Biden be feelin' a heavy sorrow as he learns that a matey of Israeli-American descent be slain by those scurvy dogs, Hamas. Arrr!
2023-12-22
Arr, President Biden be a-sayin' he be "heartbroken" to hear that a scurvy dog, an Israeli American matey named Gad Haggai, who was thought to have been taken hostage by them scurvy terrorists of Hamas, be now believed to have met his doom in their Oct. 7 attack in Israel. The poor soul was long thought to be one o' the 100 hostages held by those vile scallywags in Gaza. But now, he be declared dead on Friday, a victim of their bloody attack. President Biden, in his statement on Friday, be offerin' his condolences and...
In a most unfortunate tale, it be reported that President Biden, with a heavy heart, did declare that an Israeli American chap by the name of Gad Haggai, who was once thought to be taken hostage by those scallywags of Hamas, has now been believed to have met his end at the hands of those very same rascals in their attack on the seventh day of October in the land of Israel, arrr!This good ol' matey, Haggai, all of 73 years old, was thought to have been among the unfortunate souls held captive by the wretched crew of Hamas in the lands of Gaza. But alas, on the day of Friday, it was announced that he had met his final fate and is believed to have fallen victim to the attack that occurred on the aforementioned day. What a tragic turn of events, me hearties!
President Biden, in his wisdom, expressed his deepest condolences on this dreadful occasion. He spoke words of solace and comfort to the grieving hearts of Haggai's friends and family, for losing a loved one to such treachery is a burden no man should bear, aye!
Though it may be a sad day for all who knew Gad Haggai, let us not forget the strength and resilience of those who have suffered at the hands of these despicable pirates. The battle against terrorism be an ongoing one, but we must stand tall and united in the face of such evil. May Gad Haggai rest in peace, and may his memory inspire us to never surrender to the likes of Hamas, yo ho ho!