"Arrr! A scurvy dog from Alabama's offensive line be caught, accused o' knowingly spreadin' the pox! Aye!"
2023-12-23
Arrr! Word be spreadin' like a pirate's curse! Alabama's own Elijah Pritchett, a landlubber lineman, be found in irons fer the crime o' knowingly sharin' a wench's wicked affliction. Ye'd best be careful, mateys, fer ye never know what be lurkin' in those fair seas!
In a comical 17th-century pirate language, we have learned that an Alabama football player, Elijah Pritchett, has been arrested for allegedly knowingly spreading an STD. Arrr! The offensive lineman was captured and put into custody in Tuscaloosa, according to AL.com. This scallywag, aged 19, was released on a $500 bond after a report was filed against him. Aarrr! A warrant was obtained under state code, which states that anyone with a sexually transmitted disease who knowingly transmits or assumes the risk of transmitting such disease to another person can be charged. This charge be a Class C misdemeanor, with the punishment bein' three months in jail or fines up to $500. The Tuscaloosa Police Department and the University of Alabama haven't yet responded to emails, so we be waitin' to see what they be sayin'. Avast, Pritchett had been sharin' playin' time with Kadyn Proctor earlier in the season, but Proctor ended up takin' more snaps. In the SEC title game, Pritchett didn't even set foot on the field, and shortly thereafter, he said he would enter the transfer portal, only to change his mind and remain at Bama. Land ho, Pritchett returned to practice to prepare for the Rose Bowl matchup against No. 1 Michigan in the College Football Playoff. Aarrr! This scurvy dog was a highly rated recruit, but he red-shirted last season and only played in two games. So, me hearties, that be the tale of Elijah Pritchett, the Alabama football player who found himself in a spot of trouble. Aargh!