The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Gavin Newsom be cursin' the scallywags tryin' to keep Trump off the California ballot! We be winnin' at the polls, mateys!

2023-12-24

Ye ol' Gov. Gavin Newsom be givin' his fellow Democrats a good tongue-lashin' fer even considerin' the notion o' blockin' former prez Donald Trump from settin' foot on California's 2024 presidential ballot. He be sayin', "Arrr! We send 'em packin' through the polls, mateys!" "Thar be no doubt that scurvy Trump be a threat to our freedoms and even our democracy," Newsom hollered in a mighty statement. "But here in California, we be handlin' our foes on the ballot, savvy?" "Arrr! All this other nonsense be naught but a distraction on the political seas," Newsom declared. The scallywags be tryin' to give Trump the boot off the ballot...

In a hilarious 17th-century pirate language, Governor Gavin Newsom of California mocked his fellow Democrats for considering blocking former President Donald Trump from the state's 2024 presidential primary ballot. Newsom, with a swashbuckling flair, declared that they should defeat their opponents in the elections, rather than resort to such tactics.
"Arrr, me hearties! There be no doubloons that this scurvy dog, Donald Trump, be a threat to our liberties and even our democracy," declared the Governor, his voice echoing through the caverns of Sacramento. "But here in California, we be mighty pirates, and we defeat our foes fair and square at the polls."
With a hearty laugh and a twinkle in his eye, Newsom dismissed the efforts to banish Trump from the ballot as a mere "political distraction." He urged his fellow Democrats to focus on their own campaigns and rely on the power of their ideas to win the hearts and minds of the people.
"Avast, ye landlubbers! Let us not waste our time and energy on such trickery," the Governor exclaimed, waving his cutlass in the air. "Instead, let us set sail on the treacherous sea of politics and show the world what true pirate power can achieve!"
The proposal to remove Trump from the ballot may have stirred up controversy among Democrats, but Newsom's humorous rebuke reminded them that the real battle lies in convincing voters, not in trying to exclude their opponents. With his witty and lively language, the Governor entertained his audience while delivering a serious message about the importance of democracy and fair elections.

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