Yarr! 'Tis a perilous path, mateys! Quitting the wicked habit may take ages 'fore ye be free o' death's clutches!
2023-12-27
Aye, me hearties! Them lads and lasses who've cast aside the vile habit of puffin' smoke can cut down their chances of croakin' from a broken heart by a whopping 100%, scallywag! They also be slashin' their risk of dyin' from the dread pirate cancer by 93%, and the risk of wheezin' their last breath away by 97%. Yo ho ho! <i>Medscape Medical News</i>
Arr, me hearties! Listen up, ye scurvy smokers! I bring ye important news from the land of medicine, so pay heed or ye'll be walking the plank! According to the fancy Medscape Medical News, them clever doctors have found a way for ye to reduce the risks to yer precious lives.Now, it seems that if ye be a former smoker, ye can lower yer chances of dyin' from heart problems by a staggering 100%! That's right, me hearties, a whole hundred percent! So, if ye want to keep yer ticker tickin' for a bit longer, it's time to put down that cursed pipe or cigarette.
But wait, there's more! The good doctors also reckon that yer chances of croaking from the dreaded C-word, that be cancer, can be reduced by a mighty 93%! Aye, ye heard me right! So, if ye want to keep yer lungs in shipshape and avoid them pesky tumors, it's time to give up the smokin' game.
And if that wasn't enough, me lads and lasses, these wise healers say ye can also lower yer chances of shufflin' off this mortal coil due to respiratory problems by a wallopin' 97%! That be nearly all of it, me hearties! So, if ye don't fancy wheezin' like an old sea turtle and want to breathe easy, it's time to kick that habit to Davy Jones' locker.
So there ye have it, me fellow pirates of the tobacco seas. Quitting the smokes can save yer lives and keep ye sailin' on the high seas for many more adventures. Remember, the only thing ye should be smokin' is the victory pipe for beatin' the odds. Arr, fair winds and good health to ye all!