Arr, mateys! Bilge rat Von Miller be spillin' his guts 'bout them scallywag domestic violence claims, it be true!
2023-12-28
Avast ye scurvy dogs! Buffalo Bills' cutthroat Von Miller be swearin' on his cursed soul that them domestic violence claims be naught but foul lies! This rapscallion got himself clapped in irons just last moon, arrr!
In a language befitting a 17th-century pirate, Buffalo Bills linebacker Von Miller has spoken out about the domestic violence allegations against him, declaring them to be "100% false." Arr, me hearties! Miller was arrested on November 30 in Dallas, but he be denying any wrongdoing, me mateys. He be tellin' the reporters that he and his lass be havin' problems like any couple, but he be denyin' all the accusations. 'Tis overblown, says he. He be havin' the right people on the job, and he knows his own character and that of his lass. Aye, they be in a relationship, but he be denyin' the charges against him.The scurvy dog Miller be facin' a third-degree felony assault charge against a pregnant woman. If he be found guilty, he could be spendin' up to 10 years in the brig and payin' a hefty fine of $10,000. The accusations be that he laid hands on the lass's neck, pulled out a chunk of her hair, and tossed her onto a couch. According to the police, they be together for seven long years, and the poor lass be sufferin' minor injuries, includin' bruising on her neck.
But Miller be claimin' it all be false, lads and lasses. He be sayin' that while it may not be a humorous situation, all of it be untrue. The only true thing be that they be expectin' a third son. The NFL be investigatin' the allegations, but the Bills be lettin' him continue to play. Miller be with the Bills since 2022 after signin' a lucrative six-year, $120 million deal. Unfortunately, his 2022 season be cut short by a torn ACL, me hearties.
Aye, Miller be the active leader in sacks in the NFL, with a tally of 123.5. He be playin' for the Denver Broncos and the Los Angeles Rams in his career. This report be courtesy of The Associated Press.