The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! The California Secretary of State be keepin' Trump on 2024 Primary Ballot, denyin' the pleas to swab the decks and remove him!

2023-12-29

Arrr! The California secretary of state, the mighty Shirley Weber (a landlubber of the Democratic persuasion), hath made a decision to keep the scurvy dog known as Donald Trump on the state's 2024 primary ballot. She turned a blind eye to the request to remove him, claimin' his actions violated the sacred Section 3 of the 14th Amendment, which denies the likes of him, who be involved in insurrection, from seekin' federal office. Weber, in her infinite wisdom, hath certified the list of presidential candidates for California's March 5 primary election, and lo and behold, Trump's name be amongst the nine Republican scallywags.

In a decision that left many scratching their heads, California secretary of state Shirley Weber, a Democrat, has decided to keep former president Donald Trump on the state's 2024 primary ballot. This comes despite a request to remove him over his alleged violation of Section 3 of the 14th Amendment, which prohibits individuals who have "engaged in insurrection" from seeking federal office.
Weber, in all her wisdom, certified the list of presidential candidates for California's upcoming primary election on March 5. And there, nestled among the nine Republican candidates, is none other than the one and only Donald J. Trump.
Now, one might ask why on earth Weber would choose to keep a man who has been accused of inciting an insurrection on the ballot. Well, some might say it's a political move, a way to stir up controversy and keep California in the headlines. Others might suggest that Weber secretly wants Trump to run, knowing that his presence will divide the Republican Party and increase the chances of a Democratic victory.
But maybe, just maybe, Weber has a secret admiration for pirates. Yes, pirates! In the spirit of the 17th century, when swashbuckling men ruled the seas, Weber has decided to embrace the language of a pirate and say, "Arrrr, let Trump be on the ballot!"
So there you have it. In a world where logic and reason often seem to take a backseat, we find ourselves with Donald Trump, the pirate of politics, still in the running for the highest office in the land. Only time will tell if his adventures will continue, or if he'll be forced to walk the plank of politics once and for all.

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