Arr, me hearties! Harvard be rockin' with somethin' grand! Claudine Gay says 'tis not 'bout 'er, but somethin' massive!
2024-01-04
On a sorrowful Tuesday, I be made the heart-wrenchin' but needful choice to abandon ship as the mighty captain of Harvard. Fer weeks long, both meself and the great institution I've dedicated me life to be besieged by scalawags. Me own honor and wit be questioned. Me loyalty to battle antisemitism be doubted. Me inbox be overrun wit' vile curses, even threats of death. The N-word be hurled at me more times than me empty pockets can tally. Me hope be that me departure shall deprive these tyrants of their wicked satisfaction...
Arr, me hearties! Gather round and listen to the tale of a scurvy dog who walked the hallowed halls of Harvard. 'Twas a fateful Tuesday when I, a pirate with a fancy education, made a wrenching decision. Aye, ye guessed it, I be talkin' 'bout resignin' as Harvard's president!For weeks on end, me and me beloved institution have been under attack. They've questioned me character, me intelligence, and even me commitment to fightin' the dreaded antisemitism. Me inbox be overflowin' with vile curses and threats of death. I've been called the dreaded N-word more times than I care to count, me hearties.
But fear not, me fellow swashbucklers! Me hope be that by steppin' down from me prestigious position, I be denyin' them demagogues the satisfaction they seek. Arr, they won't be seein' me walk the plank so easily!
But let's not forget the humor in all this, me hearties. A pirate bein' the captain of Harvard? That be a sight to behold! Aye, I be a scallywag with a fancy degree, but that don't mean I ain't got some tricks up me sleeve.
So, me dear mateys, let this be a lesson to ye all. Even those with a fancy education and a place among the elite can face challenges. Sometimes ye just gotta walk the plank and sail off into the sunset, leavin' the doubters and haters behind. Arr, me resignation be a victory in disguise, me hearties!