The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Nay, Nikki Haley, we be no needin' t' convert schools into airports, a place ye bilge rats despise!

2024-01-05

Arrr, mateys! Be ye fond of travellin' to the port o' air? Nay, ye scallywags, 'tis a terrible ordeal! Now ponder this: Would yer wee ones fancy bein' at the air port every bleedin' day, from tender age o' 5 till 18? Methinks Republican candidate Nikki Haley be thinkin' this be grand: Aye, we could jest 'bout limitin' the size o' juice boxes, but let's be serious for a moment, or as serious as this comment deserves. Haley's reckonin' be tied to the notion that airport security be...

In the language of a 17th century pirate, let me tell you, going to the airport be no pleasant adventure, matey. Nay, it be the worst of all experiences on the seven seas.
Now, picture this, me hearties: What if ye little scallywags had to go to the airport every day from the tender age of 5 to 18? Aye, that be what Republican presidential candidate Nikki Haley be suggestin'.
Arr, we could jest about whether this means size limits on juice boxes, but let's try and be serious, or at least as serious as we can be about such a preposterous notion. It seems that Haley's thinkin' here be restin' on the idea that airport security be...

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