The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! The Pentagon be keepin' it secret from Biden and the White House fer days 'bout Austin's ailment.

2024-01-07

Arrr, 'tis a tale worth tellin'! The Pentagon, in all its glory, failed to inform President Joe Biden and the mighty officials o' his crew 'bout the hospitalization of Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin. Three long days went by, mateys, afore the news reached their ears. 'Twas only when the Defense Department's message arrived on the fourth day that the good ol' National Security Adviser, Jake Sullivan, got wind o' the situation. 'Twas then that he quickly informed our Captain Biden. Ahoy, 'tis a curious tale indeed!

In a surprising turn of events, it seems that the Pentagon chose to keep President Joe Biden and other top officials in the dark about Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin's recent hospitalization. According to three U.S. officials, Austin's visit to the hospital on January 1st was not divulged to the President or his key advisers until three days later.

Even Jake Sullivan, the national security adviser, and other senior White House aides were left blissfully unaware of Austin's medical circumstances until the Defense Department finally decided to spill the beans on January 4th. And it was only after Sullivan received this tardy notification that he promptly informed President Biden.

Now, you may be wondering why on earth the Pentagon thought it was a good idea to keep Austin's hospitalization under wraps for so long. Well, according to these officials, the chances of Austin's condition being serious enough to affect his duties were slim to none. They believe that this is why the delay in informing the higher-ups occurred, as there was no immediate cause for concern.

But let's be honest, this whole situation just seems a bit fishy. I mean, if I were President Biden, I'd want to know if my Defense Secretary was laid up in the hospital, even if it was just for a minor ailment like a case of scurvy or a peg leg malfunction. It's those little details that keep a ship sailing smoothly, if you catch my drift.

So, it seems that even in the 17th century, pirates would have made better messengers than some of the folks at the Pentagon. Perhaps they could take a page out of our book and learn the importance of effective communication. After all, a pirate's life may be full of adventure and rum, but we know the value of sharing information, especially when it concerns the captain's well-being.

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