The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Ye GOP scallywags be furious o'er the 'shocking breakdown' o' Defense Sec Lloyd Austin's hidden hospitalization!

2024-01-07

Arr, me hearties! U.S. Sen. Tom Cotton, a fine lad from Arkansas, be demandin' answers from Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin! The scallywag needs t' explain why the White House and them fancy officials were left in the dark about his hospitalization until days later. Blimey! The Biden crew be caught up in a whirlwind of national security matters, and this be makin' things even more confusin'! Austin was sent to the Walter Reed National Military Medical Center on Monday for some troubles after a fancy elective medical procedure. Arr, what a tale!

In a recent turn of events, it seems that Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin has found himself in a bit of a sticky situation. Apparently, he was admitted to the Walter Reed National Military Medical Center earlier this week for some complications following a not-so-urgent medical procedure. Now, you might be thinking, what's the big deal? Well, here's the twist - it seems that the White House and other high-ranking officials weren't immediately informed about this hospitalization. Yikes!

It's no wonder that U.S. Sen. Tom Cotton, that fine gentleman from Arkansas, is demanding some answers. He wants to know why on earth the Secretary of Defense's hospital stay was kept under wraps for days. I mean, talk about a major lack of communication! It's not like the Biden administration has nothing else on their plates. They're dealing with all sorts of national security matters, and here we have Austin gallivanting off to the hospital without telling a soul.

Now, I can't help but wonder what was going through Austin's mind. Did he think it would be fun to surprise everyone with his little medical adventure? Maybe he wanted to keep us all on our toes, doubting whether he was fit for duty or not. Or perhaps he just forgot to send out a memo, in which case, someone needs to give that man a reminder app.

But let's not get too carried away with our pirate talk. All jokes aside, this is a serious matter. The Secretary of Defense's health is no laughing matter, and it's only fair that the White House and senior officials are kept in the loop. So, Mr. Austin, it's time to walk the plank and explain yourself. The nation is waiting, and we want answers!

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