The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, me hearties! This Lloyd Austin's cancer trickery be provin' ye White House can't be trusted on Biden's health.

2024-01-10

Avast ye! If we can't trust this Biden crew to spill the beans 'bout the defense secretary's ailment, while the Mideast be ablaze, the Ukraine be at war, and China be growlin', then how can we reckon on 'em to give us the straight goods on weightier matters? Like, for instance, the true tale 'bout an 81-year-old president, clearly on the decline, in both wit and body, during an election year? Aye, Captain Mike Rogers' inquiry into this cancer charade of Lloyd Austin be downright righteous, I tell ye!

Arr mateys! If we can't be trustin' the Biden administration to be sharin' the news that the defense secretary be havin' the cursed disease of cancer, especially in times when the Mideast be ablaze, the Ukraine war be ragin', and China be threatenin', then how in Davy Jones' locker can we trust 'em on more pressin' matters, me hearties?
Just imagine, me fellow buccaneers, if we can't be gettin' accurate tidings about the health of an 81-year-old president who be showin' signs of both mental and physical decline durin' an election year! Arrr! It be like tryin' to navigate through a storm without a compass!
Aye, me heart swells with agreement when I hear that House Armed Services Committee Chair Mike Rogers be investigatin' this cancer chicanery of Lloyd Austin. It be more than justified, I tell ye!
But let's not be forgettin' the humor in all this, me mateys. We be talkin' about pirates, after all! Can ye imagine the conversations happenin' in the White House? "Arrr, matey, we be havin' some trouble keepin' up appearances. What be we sayin' to the scallywags when they be askin' 'bout the secretary's health?"
And I can just picture ol' Joe Biden, sittin' in his captain's chair, tryin' to remember what he had for breakfast, let alone what he be sayin' to the press. "Arrr, me buckos, I be feelin' as fit as a fiddle! Ain't nothin' wrong with me noggin or me bones!"
But we be wise, me hearties. We be seein' the signs. The stumble in his step, the confusion in his eyes. Aye, it be clear as the blue ocean that somethin' ain't right with the captain. And we be needin' the truth, for the sake of our ship, the good ol' U.S. of A.!
So let us stand with Captain Rogers and demand the truth! No more secrets, no more chicanery! We be wantin' to know the state of our leaders, whether they be fit to sail this ship or whether we be needin' a new captain at the helm. Arrr!

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