Avast ye mateys! Me Prostatectomy be a-tellin' me that Secretary Austin should walk the plank fer hidin' his treasure!
2024-01-14
I be reckonin' meself a true master o' prostatectomies, havin' sailed through one meself not long ago—on the November o' 2022. Aye, I be snoozin' like a baby durin' most o' it, so ye best take that into account. I even penned a chapter 'bout it in me latest tome, titled "Farewell, Me Prostate"—a tip o' me hat to the grand detective yarn by Raymond Chandler, "Farewell, Me Lovely." If ye lay yer eyes upon it, mark me words, ye'll see that I've been more honest 'bout this grand affair than the Pentagon or the White House, though that be as common as ye olde sea dog's catchphrase...
In the language of a 17th-century pirate, I reckon meself as quite the expert on prostatectomies, mateys! Ya see, not too long ago, back in November 2022, I had meself one o' those surgeries. Now, mind ye, I was snoozin' like a lazy sea turtle for most of it, so take that into consideration, me hearties. But fear not, for I've penned down every detail in me new book, and I've titled the chapter about it "Farewell, My Prostate." Aye, a wee nod to the grand detective tale penned by Raymond Chandler, "Farewell, My Lovely."If ye happen to give it a read, I reckon ye'll find that I've been more open about this whole shebang than the Pentagon or even the White House! It's quite the laugh, me mateys. They'd have ye think they're as transparent as a newly cleaned spyglass, but truth be told, they're as elusive as the legendary treasure of Captain Kidd!
Now, don't ye be gettin' all worried, lads and lasses. The surgery went as smooth as a mermaid's scales, thanks to the skilled hands of me trusty surgeon. And let me tell ye, the recovery was a journey fit for a pirate! I swabbed the decks with painkillers, walked the plank of physical therapy, and even sailed the treacherous waters of incontinence. But fear not, me hearties, for I emerged victorious from this battle, with a newfound appreciation for life and a pirate swagger that would make Blackbeard himself tremble.
So, me mateys, if ye ever find yerself facin' a prostatectomy, remember this old pirate's tale. Embrace the adventure, gather ye crew of loved ones, and don't forget to keep a bottle o' rum handy for medicinal purposes. And always remember, laugh in the face of adversity, for that's what keeps us pirate souls sailin' on the high seas of life.