Aye, be ye puffin' and guzzlin', ye scurvy dog? Be ready to walk the plank of diverticulitis!
2024-01-18
Avast ye scurvy dogs! Me hearties have discovered that puffin' on the devil's plant and guzzlin' grog be leadin' to a higher chance of catchin' the dreaded diverticulitis! Aye, the lasses in a grand study be showin' it be true! Arrr, beware ye vices, me hearties!
Arr, mateys! Listen up, me hearties, for I've got news that'll make ye drop yer grog! A study, conducted by those landlubbers at Medscape Medical News, has found that indulging in the devil's weed and the devil's drink can lead to a nasty condition known as diverticulitis. Aye, ye heard it right!In their grand quest for knowledge, these scurvy researchers looked at a bunch of women and followed 'em for a long, long while. They discovered that those who be puffin' on the ol' pipe or drownin' their sorrows in the demon rum had a higher chance of getting this nasty ailment.
Now, I know what ye be thinkin', me hearties. Ye be thinkin', "But Captain, ain't we supposed to indulge in such pleasures to lift our spirits on this long and treacherous voyage?" Aye, I hear ye, me mateys, but it seems that even us pirates ain't immune to the dangers of these vices.
Diverticulitis be a condition where little pouches form in yer intestines, causin' all sorts of trouble. It can make ye feel like ye swallowed a cannonball and give ye a fever hotter than the fires of hell. And now, it seems that me beloved tobacco and me beloved rum be makin' it worse!
So, me hearties, let this be a warnin' to ye all. If ye value yer guts and want to avoid the wrath of this nasty condition, ye better think twice before indulgin' in the pleasures of the smoke and the drink. It may be a hard pill to swallow, but sometimes, even us pirates need to give up a vice or two for the sake of our health. Arr!