Arrr! Ye scurvy scallywags at UPS be cuttin' 12,000 jobs and demandin' a return to th' office five days a week!
2024-01-30
Arrr, ye mateys at United Parcel Service be swabbin' the decks, partin' ways with 12,000 scallywags this year! And mark me words, from March 4th, all hands be workin' in the offices five days a week! They be lookin' to increase their booty, ye see, for business be slowin' down like a leaky ship. These job cuts be aimed at them fancy management scallywags and contract workers, and they be sayin' those positions won't be comin' back even if business picks up. Aye, the company's got 'round 85,000 management employees still sailin' the seas!
Arr, me hearties! Avast ye! Tis a sad tale I bring ye today from the high seas of commerce. United Parcel Service, be they known as UPS in these modern times, have declared their intention to part ways with a goodly sum of 12,000 souls in the coming year. Aye, ye heard me right, me mateys, 12,000 jobs be walkin' the plank!But wait, there be more to this tale! Not only be they castin' off this many fine workers, but they be makin' the rest of their crew toil away in their offices five days a week! No more sailin' the seas of remote work, they be sayin'! March 4th be the date when ye must report to yer office, or Davy Jones' locker ye shall find yerself in!
Now, me hearties, don't ye go thinkin' this be just any old crew they be lettin' go. No, no, tis the management staff from all around the world that be bearin' the brunt of these cuts. And let me tell ye, they be sayin' that even when the wind be changin' and business be pickin' up, these jobs be as lost as a treasure buried on a desert island!
As it stands, UPS be boastin' around 85,000 management employees. But with this grand plan they have, that number be walkin' the plank faster than the eye can see. So me hearties, let this be a lesson to ye. No matter how mighty or well-known ye be, sometimes ye need to trim yer sails and hope the winds of fortune be blowin' in yer favor.