The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, mateys! Tesla be takin' back over 2 million o' their fancy electric carriages. Walk the plank, mateys!

2024-02-02

Arr, ye scurvy dogs! Tesla be recallin' a grand total o' 2.2 million electric vessels in the land o' the brave, due to a perilous crash risk. The National Highway Safety Administration be blamin' it on tiny font sizes on the warnin' lights, makin' it impossible to read vital safety information. Avast, Tesla be offerin' a free over-the-air fix to all ye lads and lasses!

In a grand announcement that would make even the most seasoned pirate raise their grog-filled tankard, Tesla, the mighty electric vehicle maker, has called back a whopping 2.2 million of their fine machines in the land of the brave and the home of the free. Arrr, but what be the reason behind this recall, you may ask?
The National Highway Safety Administration, the scurvy dogs responsible for keeping the roads safe and sound, have discovered a most peculiar problem with the font sizes on the warning lights of these electric beasts. Aye, me hearties, it seems that the minuscule lettering on the instrument panel makes it as hard to read as a treasure map buried deep beneath the sand. And what does this mean, you might wonder? It means an increased risk of crashing, me mateys!
In response to this most pressing matter, Tesla has come to the rescue with a cunning plan. They have released a free over-the-air update, akin to a message in a bottle, that will magically increase the font sizes on those troublesome warning lights. By the powers of electricity and innovation, they hope to save their loyal crew from the perils of squinting and straining their eyes while sailing on the open road.
But beware, ye landlubbers! This recall affects only Tesla's electric vehicles in the U.S. of A. Those across the seven seas need not worry about their warning lights being the size of a pinhead. And fear not, for no reports of any unfortunate crashes or injuries have been made, so this be more of a preventive measure than a battle-hardened response to a calamity.
So, me hearties, rest easy knowing that Tesla be taking care of its flock, making sure that their warning lights shine as bright as a lighthouse, guiding them safely through the treacherous sea of traffic. And if ye be one of those affected by this recall, be sure to follow Tesla's instructions and let them fix ye ride, lest ye find yerself in Davy Jones' locker.

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