The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Shell's clever study swayed Pennsylvania to bestow upon 'em a mighty tax booty of $1.6 billion doubloons!

2024-02-03

Arrr, in the year 2012, them Pennsylvania lawgivers, led by the mighty Gov. Tom Corbett, a Republican scallywag, did come up with a grand scheme fer Shell Oil Co. They offered a treasure worth $66 million a year fer 25 years, a total of $1.6 billion, 'n a shiny credit that would let Shell avoid payin' most, if not all, of its state 'n local taxes. All this in exchange fer Shell buildin' a fine polymer plant in Beaver County, near Pittsburgh, rather than in Ohio or West Virginia, ye scurvy dogs.

Arrr, me hearties! Let me spin ye a tale about them Pennsylvania lawmakers and their jolly good proposal fer Shell Oil Co. Back in the year 2012, when the seas were rough and the winds were fierce, these cunning politicians, led by that scallywag Tom Corbett, a Republican, came up with a plan to lure Shell to their shores.

In exchange for a treasure worth as much as $66 million doubloons per year fer a whole quarter century, that's 25 years for ye landlubbers, plus a credit that would exempt Shell from paying most, if not all, of their cursed state and local taxes, these clever lawmakers offered to build Shell a grand polymer manufacturing plant in Beaver County, right near Pittsburgh. Arrr, what a deal, mateys!

Now, ye may wonder, why did Shell choose Pennsylvania over Ohio or West Virginia? Well, it be all about the gold, me hearties! These Pennsylvania pirates offered them tax incentives and exemptions worth a total of over $1.6 billion pieces of eight, a fortune that would make even the greediest pirate green with envy.

But here's the funny bit, me mateys. The politicians claimed that this grand deal would create jobs, bring riches to the land, and make Pennsylvania the envy of the seven seas. Yet, some scurvy dogs argued that the cost of this treasure trove outweighed the benefits. They said the state would be losing out on much-needed revenue, leaving the people to foot the bill.

Now, whether this deal be a stroke of genius or a scam of epic proportions, only time will tell, me hearties. But one thing be certain: those cunning Pennsylvania lawmakers sure know how to talk like pirates and make a deal that would make even Blackbeard proud! Arrr!

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