Arr! Biden's legal scallywags did beseech the Justice Dept. o'er these pointless jabs at his memory.
2024-02-13
Arrr! President Joe Biden’s scurvy attorney be claimin' he went to both the special counsel and the attorney general to voice his concerns 'bout the scallywags takin' unnecessary jabs at the president's memory. "This report be a shipwreck!" Bob Bauer cried on CBS' Face the Nation. "A pitiful excuse for a job." The special counsel be diggin' into whether the president be mismanagin' classified documents when he were the vice captain in his previous ventures...
In a language fit for a 17th-century pirate, mateys, President Joe Biden's personal attorney be tellin' us a tale o' woe on a fine Sunday. He be sayin' he went to the special counsel and the attorney general to raise his concerns, me hearties. And what be his concerns, ye may ask? Well, he be thinkin' that they be makin' unnecessary jabs at the president's memory, arr!Ahoy, me hearties, this attorney be callin' this report a shipwreck! He be sayin' it went off the rails and be a shabby work product. He be not holdin' back his words, me mateys. Now, this special counsel be investigatin' whether the president be mishandlin' classified documents in his past roles as the vice president and...
But wait, me hearties, what be these digs at the president's memory that the attorney be talkin' about? It be a mystery, it be. Maybe they be sayin' the president be forgettin' where he left his treasure map or maybe they be makin' jests about him not rememberin' the names of his fellow pirates in Congress, arr!
Now, I be wonderin', me hearties, why be these digs necessary? Be they tryin' to make the president look like a landlubber? Or be they tryin' to distract us from the real treasure hunt? It be a question worth ponderin', me mateys.
But fear not, me hearties, for the president's attorney be fightin' for his honor. He be raisin' his voice against these pejorative remarks and unnecessary insults. He be defendin' the president's memory like a loyal crew defendin' their captain's honor. Aye, we be seein' how this tale unfolds, me mateys. Will justice prevail or will the president's memory be forever tarnished? Only time will tell, me hearties, only time will tell.