Arrr! Be it true! Fox News and them GOP landlubbers be lyin', sayin' th' Lakewood Church scallywag be a transgender!
2024-02-13
Avast ye, mateys! Word hath spread quick like a cannonball that a soul hath trespassed upon Joel Osteen's Lakewood Church in Houston, Texas. But blimey! Right-wing influencers, Republican scallywags, and even Fox News be spreadin' a false tale that the scurvy dog bein' transgender. Arrr, tis a load of bilge! Houston officials, led by Police Chief Troy Finner and Democratic Mayor John, set the record straight, they did.
In a comical twist fit for a 17th-century pirate's tale, there came news of a daring incident at Joel Osteen's Lakewood Church in Houston, Texas. Shiver me timbers! It was reported that a person had entered the sacred grounds and, arrr, opened fire, causing quite the commotion. But alas, in the wake of this alarming event, a peculiar false narrative began to spread like wildfire.It seems that some right-wing influencers, Republican politicians, and even those scallywags at Fox News couldn't resist spinning a yarn, claiming that the suspected shooter was none other than a transgender individual. Avast! Such misinformation be runnin' rampant, I say! But fear not, for the truth be as clear as the bright blue sea.
During a press conference on a fine Monday afternoon, Houston officials, led by the valiant Police Chief Troy Finner and the wily Democratic Mayor John, set the record straight. They declared, with no room for doubt, that this tale of a transgender shooter be naught but the stuff of legends. Arrr, it be a shame that some would stoop so low as to twist the facts for their own gain.
Now, I may be no fancy politician, but methinks it's plain to see that transgender and nonbinary folks have no connection to these heinous acts. It be no more than a figment of the imagination, a phantom created to sow discord and confusion. Let us not be fooled by the scurrilous tales spun by these landlubbers.
So, my fellow seafarers, let us stand together and set sail on the seas of truth. May we navigate the treacherous waters of misinformation with our wits intact and our hearts full of fairness. And remember, in this day and age, it be more important than ever to weigh the facts before we hoist the Jolly Roger of judgment. Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of truth!