The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, California's yearnin' for ethnic studies be clashin' with the Israel-Hamas squabble, matey!

2024-02-15

Arrr! California be havin' mighty plans fer ethnic studies! By 2025, the state's public high schools - 'bout 1,600 of 'em - must be teachin' the subject. By 2030, no scallywag be gettin' outta high school 'less they be learnin' it. Fer them fancy policymakers, the goal be to give California students, 80 percent o' whom be nonwhite, the chance to study a vast array o' diverse cultures. There be research showin' that ethnic studies classes can be raisin' the grades and attendance o' lads and lasses at risk o' droppin' out. But even in a...

Arrr, me hearties! Listen up, ye scurvy dogs, for I have some news from the land of the Golden State! California, with its grand ambitions, has set sail on a mission to make sure that every young landlubber in its public high schools learns about the diverse cultures that make up this land. By 2025, they want all 1,600 of these fine establishments to teach the subject of ethnic studies. And mark me words, by 2030, no young sailor will be allowed to graduate high school without having studied this here subject!

Now, ye might be wonderin' why the policymakers have set their sights on such a goal. Well, let me tell ye, me hearty! The aim is to give these young scallywags, 80 percent of whom are nonwhite, a chance to learn about cultures other than their own. And believe ye me, there be some scientific research to back it up! It seems that these here ethnic studies classes can actually help raise the grades and attendance of those young landlubbers who be at risk of abandonin' ship.

But even with all these noble intentions, there be some doubters on the horizon. Some folks be worryin' that these classes might be biased or politicized, and they be raisin' their voices in opposition. They be arguin' that teachin' about different cultures is all well and good, but it should be done in a fair and balanced way. And who can blame 'em? Nobody wants their young scallywags to be fed a bunch of pirate tales!

So there ye have it, me hearties! California be chartin' a course towards a future where every young sailor learns about the myriad of cultures that make up this beautiful land. But beware, there be some choppy waters ahead. It be up to the policymakers to make sure that these classes be taught in a fair and unbiased manner, so that every young scallywag be given a true education. Sail on, California, sail on!

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