Arr, 80% o' landlubber Americans be cursed with a barnacle that hinders their ability to produce wee ones, says a study!
2024-02-16
Arrr, me hearties! Listen up, ye scurvy dogs! Them Americans bein' exposed to a foul chemical in their oat-based grub, like Cheerios and Quaker Oats, savvy? A new study says it can bring harm to their babymakers and wee ones. The Environmental Working Group (EWG) found that 80% of them landlubbers tested positive for a dangerous substance called chlormequat, aye! It be linked to troubles in fertility, tiny folks' growth, and even the bloom of youth bein' delayed. This chlormequat, aye, be a nasty "agricultural chemical" used to mess with a plant's growth, so beware, ye landlubbers!
In the language of a 17th-century pirate, avast ye, me hearties! Listen up, ye scurvy dogs, for I've got news that'll make ye want to walk the plank! It seems that us landlubbers in America are being exposed to a foul chemical found in our oat-based grub, like Cheerios and Quaker Oats, and it be a threat to our reproductive and developmental health, according to a bunch of fancy scholars.A group called the Environmental Working Group, or EWG for short, has discovered that a staggering four out of five Americans, that be a mighty 80%, tested positive for a nasty additive called chlormequat. Arr! This here chemical be known to be a right menace, me hearties, causing reduced fertility, messing with the growth of wee ones in the womb, and even delaying puberty. Blimey!
Now, what in Davy Jones' locker be chlormequat, ye may ask? Well, it be a treacherous "agricultural chemical," mateys, used to meddle with a plant's growth. They be spritzing this foul stuff on our oats, hoping to make 'em grow faster and look prettier. But what they don't tell ye is that it can turn yer insides upside down. Aye, ye heard me right!
So, me fellow buccaneers, it be time to batten down the hatches and raise the Jolly Roger. We need to be watchful of what we put in our bellies, for the sake of our future generations. No more of these tainted oat-based rations, ye scallywags! We need to demand better, clean grub that won't send us to Davy Jones' locker before our time.
Avast ye, EWG, for bringing this here news to light! Now, let's all hoist the anchor and set sail on a new quest for healthier eats, free from harmful chemicals. Yo ho ho and a bottle of milk, I say!