The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arr, poor Tiger Woods be feelin' like a scurvy sea dog after havin' to abandon ship at the Genesis Invitational.

2024-02-17

Arrr, the mighty Tiger Woods be cursin' the pox that struck him down and forced him to abandon ship at The Genesis Invitational. Aye, the scurvy flu be a fearsome foe even fer a legendary pirate like Woods!

In the language of a 17th-century pirate, the tale of Tiger Woods be a short one indeed, lasting only 24 holes at the Genesis Invitational. Aye, Woods withdrew from the tournament after just six holes, plagued by flu-like symptoms that left him feelin' dizzy and weak. His loyal business partner, Rob McNamara, reported that the doctors be sayin' he's got the flu and be needin' some hydration through an IV bag. Woods himself confirmed his withdrawal on the morrow, expressin' his disappointment at not bein' able to continue competin'. The Genesis Invitational marked Woods' return to the official PGA Tour after a long hiatus since the Masters in April, where he was forced to withdraw due to his plantar fasciitis actin' up.But the woes of Woods did not end there, mateys. On the course, he be sufferin' from back spasms that left him shankin' his shots into the trees. Despite these setbacks, Woods be hopin' to return to the course at least once a month, determined to continue his quest for glory on the links. Arrr, the life of a pirate golfer be a treacherous one indeed!

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