The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, John Oliver be bribin' Clarence Thomas with a chest of gold doubloons to walk the plank from the high court!

2024-02-19

Arr, me hearties! The scallywag John Oliver be offerin' a grand sum o' $1m yearly and a $2m tour bus to old Clarence Thomas if he be givin' up his post on the US supreme court. Aye, 'twas a bold move made on Sunday's episode o' Last Week Tonight. Will the judge take the booty or walk the plank?

Ahoy, me hearties! Listen up, ye scallywags! The jester of the late-night talk show, John Oliver, be makin' a bold offer to that landlubber Clarence Thomas! He be offerin' the scallywag a hefty sum of $1 million doubloons each year, along with a grand tour bus worth $2 million doubloons, if he be walkin' the plank and resignin' from the US supreme court.
Oliver, in all his jestin' glory, made this offer on his HBO show Last Week Tonight, givin' the scallywag Thomas a mere 30 days to accept the offer, else it be gone with the tide. This British-born jester be stirrin' up trouble with his jests and japes, all in good fun, of course.
After a fair share of media investigations uncoverin' the misdeeds of Thomas, Oliver be takin' matters into his own hands with this outlandish proposal. Will the scallywag Thomas walk the plank for a grand sum of doubloons and a fancy tour bus? Only time will tell, me hearties! Stay tuned for the next episode of the high seas drama!

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