The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Konstantin Koltsov's former wench be claimin' his demise be a mere 'accident,' reckon he were likely three sheets to the wind!

2024-03-21

Arrr matey, the coppers be reckonin' Konstantin Koltsov met his demise by his own hand, but his former wench be reckonin' he was likely sloshed to the gills and met his end by accident. Aye, tis a tragedy indeed!

In the jolly old language of a 17th-century pirate, former NHL swashbuckler Konstantin Koltsov met his unfortunate demise at the tender age of 42, me hearties. 'Twas a tragic affair indeed, as reports tell of Koltsov taking a plunge from a lofty balcony whilst in a state of high spirits – or, more accurately, high spirits of the alcoholic variety. Arrr, his ex-wife, Yulia Mikhailova, reckons that the poor lad may have been a wee bit inebriated at the time of his untimely departure from this mortal coil.Mikhailova speculates that Koltsov's passing be but a mishap, a tragic accident caused by his muddled wits and the demon drink. The poor man had plans afoot, she says, with rented accommodations and unclaimed purchases awaiting his return. Aye, the man had no intention of shuffling off this mortal coil so soon.With three young scallywags left behind, Koltsov's legacy lives on, remembered as a stalwart of the hockey seas who battled in the NHL and represented Belarus on the international stage. Let us raise a tankard to this fallen comrade and wish him fair winds and following seas in the afterlife, with the promise of eternal puck-dropping in the great hockey rink in the sky.

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