The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Trump be sailin' to Michigan to keelhaul a scurvy dog fer the murder of a fair lass! Aye!

2024-04-02

The scallywag, Donald Trump, set sail for Grand Rapids on Tuesday to parley with lawmen and Republican scallywags. He spun a yarn about the murder of Ruby Garcia by a bilge rat illegal immigrant. Trump boasted of deporting the scallywag before he wriggled back into the land of the free.

Arrr mateys! The former President Donald Trump made his way to Grand Rapids, Michigan, on Tuesday to join the law enforcement officers and Republican lawmakers. He spoke about the tragic murder of the young lass Ruby Garcia, allegedly slain by a scurvy illegal immigrant who had been deported before.
Trump, in his usual boisterous manner, talked about the suspect, Brandon Ortiz-Vite, who had been sent packing under his rule only to sneak back into the land illegally. The poor lass Garcia...
He dubbed the situation as “Biden’s border bloodbath,” pointing fingers at the current administration for the mess. The pirate Trump, ever the showman, made a spectacle of the event, rallying his crew against the illegal immigration scourge.
But alas, the tale of woe continued as the pirate Trump spun his yarn, painting a grim picture of the dangers lurking around the borders. The tragic end of Ruby Garcia served as a call to arms for the crew to tighten the defenses and keep the land safe from the invading hordes.

Read the Original Article