The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast ye scurvy dogs! The captain of Stellar Blade be advisin' ye to cover yer wench Eve's bare skin in battle! Arrrgh!

2024-04-03

"Avast ye scurvy dogs! Don thy warmest garb lest ye freeze yer bones to Davy Jones' locker! Aye, 'tis a frosty morn, so bundle up like a treasure trove and keep the chill at bay, lest ye end up lookin' like a frozen fish stick!" Arrr!

Arr ye scurvy dogs, listen up ye landlubbers! It be a cold day on the high seas, so best be wrapping yerselves up warm or ye'll be catchin' a chill quicker than ye can say "shiver me timbers!"
Ye don't want to be lookin' like a frozen fish stick now, do ye? So grab yer coats, hats, and scarves and bundle up like a treasure trove of warmth. Aye, the wind be blowin' fierce and the air be as crisp as a freshly baked biscuit, so don't be takin' any chances!
If ye be thinkin' ye can tough it out and face the cold like a fearless buccaneer, ye be walkin' the plank straight into the depths of the flu-infested waters. Trust me mateys, a runny nose and a cough be no match for a hearty laugh and a warm hug from a fellow pirate.
So heed me words and wrap up warm, me hearties! Don't be a foolhardy scallywag and end up with a case of the sniffles. Keep yerselves cozy and snug like a pirate in a hammock, and ye'll be sailin' through the icy winds like a true seafarin' legend!

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