The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr! Trump's mate Weisselberg be walkin' the plank fer lyin' in court, sentenced to five moons in the brig!"

2024-04-10

Avast ye scallywags! The scurvy dog Allen Weisselberg hath been sentenced to five moons in the brig for his deceitful ways regarding the gold of Donald Trump. Judge Laurie Peterson hath spoken, and the punishment be as foretold. Walk the plank, ye knave!

Arr, me hearties! The scallywag Allen Weisselberg, former Trump Organization Chief Financial Officer, has been sentenced to five months in the brig for his crimes of perjury. The judge, Laurie Peterson, gave him the smackdown at a hearing in Manhattan criminal court, sticking to the punishment she promised back when Weisselberg pleaded guilty to his deceitful deeds.
It seems this swashbuckler got caught in a web of lies about Donald Trump's finances, and now he's paying the ultimate price. No amount of plunder or treasure could save him from walking the plank this time! The courtroom was surely abuzz with whispers and mutterings as the verdict was handed down, with Weisselberg's fate sealed in stone.
So let this be a lesson to all ye scallywags out there - beware the long arm of the law, for it will catch up to ye eventually. No amount of fancy footwork or silver tongues can save ye from a date with the hangman's noose. May Allen Weisselberg's tale serve as a cautionary one for all who dare to cross the line of honesty and integrity. Arr, mateys, let this be a warning to all!

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