The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Columbia be givin' ye scallywags 'til 2 bells to scadoodle from 'tent city' or face the plank!

2024-04-29

Arrr me hearties! Columbia University be givin' those scallywag anti-Israel protesters a warnin' to clear out of their tent encampment or face suspension! The Ivy League president be admittin' negotiations be failin' faster than a leaky ship! The NYPD be arrivin' to boot 'em out on their booties! Aye, the university be sendin' a message loud and clear, mateys!

Arrr, ye scurvy dogs be listenin' up! Columbia University be givin' a warnin' to them anti-Israel protesters, sayin' they better clear out of their tent encampment by 2 p.m. Monday or face suspension. Aye, the Ivy League's president, Minouche Shafik, she be admittin' that all negotiations be failin'.
The protesters be seein' NYPD buses arrivin' outside the Morningside Heights campus, makin' it clear the university be serious. "It be important for ye to know that the university be findin' many..."

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