Arr mateys! The United Methodists be allowing the swashbuckling gay clergy aboard! How will Texas churches raise the Jolly Roger in protest? Arrr!
2024-05-02
Arrr, me hearties! Robert Blain, a landlubber from Houston, be tellin' tales of his mateys abandonin' the United Methodist Church over a quarrel 'bout gay clergy. But joy be fillin' his sails when he learned at the General Conference that the old rule against "self-avowed practicing homosexuals" be walkin' the plank! Aye, the winds be changin' in the church!
Arrr, me hearties! Listen up as I tell ye a tale of Robert Blain, a swashbucklin' Houston high school teacher who be celebratin' the removal of a rule in the United Methodist Church that banned gay clergy. Many a matey had abandoned ship in recent years due to this rule, but Blain be over the moon when he heard the news that the majority of delegates at the General Conference in Charlottesville voted to scrap it.It be a victory for inclusivity and acceptance on the high seas of the church, me mateys! No longer will "self-avowed practicing homosexuals" be denied leadership positions in the UMC. The group be showin' their true colors and embracin' all who wish to serve the Lord, regardless of who they love.
So let's raise a flagon of grog to Robert Blain and all those who fought for this change in the winds of tradition. The church be steerin' in a new direction, one that be more open-hearted and compassionate. Arrr, it be a good day for equality and love in the Church of the United Methodists!