The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! A swashbuckling lass be bestin' the wenches on the track! 'Tis a tale worth tellin' mateys!

2024-05-05

Arrr, me hearties! Sadie Schreiner, a swashbucklin' transgender lass, bested the lasses in three races on Saturday. But beware, for her times would have landed her in Davy Jones' locker if she raced with the menfolk! Aye, the sea be a treacherous mistress indeed!

In a jolly twist of fate, transgender college runner Sadie Schreiner emerged victorious in not one, not two, but three women's events at the Liberty League championship meet over the weekend, much to the astonishment of many a scallywag. Hailing from the Rochester Institute of Technology, this daring lass captured the 400-meter crown with a time of 55.07 and the 200-meter title in 24.14.Despite her times being rather lackluster for the swashbuckling men, they set school records in the women's category, shiver me timbers! As if that weren't enough, Schreiner also shattered the Liberty League conference women's record in the 200-meter event, proving herself to be a force to be reckoned with on the track.Not content with just individual glory, this buccaneer also played a key role in her crew's triumphant victory in the 4x400 relay, where she ran the fastest anchor leg, leaving her foes in the dust. While some scallywags may question her prowess, Schreiner boldly states that she does not possess an "automatic advantage" as a biological male. In the midst of controversy and lawsuits over the inclusion of transgender athletes in women's sports, this valiant runner stands firm in her belief that the only way to make an educated decision is to hear the voices of those directly affected, arrr!

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