The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, beware ye scurvy pirates! To avoid brain-eating worms and mercury poisoning, steer clear o' rotten fish and cursed treasure.

2024-05-08

Arrr matey! Did ye hear? Robert F. Kennedy Jr. be havin' a brain parasite AND mercury poisonin' at the same time! What a rare treasure that be, like findin' two gold doubloons in a single chest! Yarrr!

Arrr matey! Ye won't believe the tale of this Robert F. Kennedy Jr. scallywag! Aye, he be runnin' for president as an independent, but the poor lad be sufferin' from not one, but two afflictions at the same time! Avast! He be havin' a brain parasite and the dreaded mercury poisoning! Aye, 'tis a rare sight to see a man plagued with such misfortunes!
Ye may be wonderin', just how rare be these conditions? Well, me hearties, let me tell ye - 'tis like findin' a buried treasure at the bottom o' the ocean! Brain parasites be a rare sight indeed, with only a handful o' cases reported each year. And as for mercury poisonin', 'tis a tricky beast to come by, especially in this day and age!
So there ye have it, me mateys! Robert F. Kennedy Jr. be fightin' a battle on two fronts, aye, but 'tis a tale that be told for years to come! Mayhaps he be needin' a bit o' luck from the sea gods to overcome these afflictions and sail smoothly into the presidential race! Arrrr!

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