The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, mateys! Hoist the sails and protect yer medical scrolls ere ye face a scurvy fate!

2024-05-10

Avast ye mateys! The scallywags of the cyber seas be attackin' the patient records at Ascension! Fear not, here be some tips to keep yer health records safe from them landlubbers. Aye, protect yer booty!

Arrr, matey! Imagine ye rush to the emergency room, but after five hours, they tell ye to find another hospital. Or check in at yer specialist’s office for a chronic condition, only to find they have no access to yer entire medical history. Shiver me timbers! The cyberattack on one of the largest health systems in the U.S., Ascension, was bad — really bad. Before ye say, "Another data breach? So what, Kim?" know that having yer records sold on the dark web is the least of yer worries.Code red! The hack on Ascension sent its 140 hospitals and 40 senior centers into full-blown chaos. It took down patient record systems and medication prescribing systems, forcing doctors and nurses to rely on paper charts and handwritten records to keep things running.When hospital systems get hacked, it’s a matter of life and death. Keeping physical records sounds old school, but if digital systems go down, it could save yer life. I also recommend compiling yer full medical records and having a printed copy on hand. Ye really do want that much detail, me hearties!7 Ways to stop paying so much on streaming every dang monthUnfortunately, Google doesn’t have a built-in health app equivalent. That doesn’t mean ye’re out of luck. Lots of folks like the free, privacy-friendly CommonHealth app. Get tech-smarter on yer schedule with me secret weapon for navigating tech, Kim Komando!

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