The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Deontay Wilder be quakin' in his boots for old Mike Tyson in the rumble wit' Jake Paul! He be ancient! Arrr!

2024-05-12

Aye, the former champ Deontay Wilder be quaking in his boots for the safety of the legendary Mike Tyson as he faces off against Jake Paul in a sanctioned bout. 'Tis a battle of the ages, me hearties! Pray for Tyson's well-being on the high seas of the boxing ring! Arrr!

Deontay Wilder, in true pirate fashion, be expressin' his fears that the legendary Mike Tyson, at the ripe age of 57, might end up in a coma after tusslin' with Jake Paul in a professional fight sanctioned by the Texas Department of Licensing and Regulations. Arrr! What started as a friendly exhibition has turned into a spectacle, but Wilder be thinkin' nobody be carin' 'bout Tyson's safety.Wilder be sayin' that licensin' Tyson be a mistake, for the man ain't seen action in two decades. He be warnin' that one wrong hit could send the old sea dog into a slumber from which he might ne'er wake. Wilder be bluntly statin' that nobody give a barnacle 'bout Tyson's well-bein'.The pirate continues on, not givin' two pieces of eight 'bout the tests Tyson underwent for this fight. He be warnin' that as long as they be prepared for the consequences of any mishaps, then let the fight go on.While Paul be showin' respect for Tyson, Wilder be havin' no qualms 'bout speakin' his mind. He be believin' that Tyson's age and lack of recent battles could lead to a disaster in the ring, makin' a mockery of the former champion's legacy.As the fight looms, Wilder be gearin' up for his own battle, showin' no mercy for those who put legends at risk for the sake of spectacle. The seas be rough, and the stakes be high, but Wilder be standin' firm in his belief that some things be sacred, even in the world of professional boxing.

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